She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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