I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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