So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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