I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
