$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
