my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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