your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
