Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
