Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
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