he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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