Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
