I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize