You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink