I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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