Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
