Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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