well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
