Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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