i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
