Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
