dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
