I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
