drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize