My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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