:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
