Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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