so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
