I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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