No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
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So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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