Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
