New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
