is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
