Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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