Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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