Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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