just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
