I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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