i think my tv is drunk
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
