How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
ugly people sure do ruin things
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
