Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
is it fun? or sober?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
