so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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