You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Less talking, more tequila
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
