Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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