So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
