i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Randomize
