i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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