i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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