I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
