threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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