Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My ass is underappreciated
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