It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
