we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
