Duck Duck Cougar?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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