Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i wish my penis had a tongue
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
