just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
