My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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