So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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