I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
