How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
