So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
