well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
