I met the friendliest cop last night
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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