True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
