i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you win again, gameday.
sarcasm needs its own font
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
