first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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