guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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