You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
